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The Incomplete Worlds Of Billy Shakespeare | BillyShakespeare.com: It's like Shakespeare...only in English.

I present these documents to you now in the hope they might shed a little more light on the elusive Billy Shakespeare, whose quiet English life remains a total mystery to this very day (at least to me). Feel free to roam about my site, and be sure to bookmark it. The site changes often, as I am releasing excerpts from The Incomplete Worlds Of Billy Shakespeare in small measured doses. Like arsenic.

8/16/2007 4:16:32 PM

It’s been far too long since my last update to this site. The process of restoring the great Billy Shakespeare’s not-so-great work continues to be slow and painful. But now the time has come again to share that pain with others.

The first thing you’ll notice as you tour the site, Imaginary Reader, is that it looks slightly different than it did before. Just slightly. Consider that for a moment: eight months to make the site look slightly different. Sue me; I’m a workaholic. Beyond that, I have added three new poems and a few new quotations; links to them are listed below.

• WWJD? » What Would Jerry Do? Almost anything, it seems.
• The Waiting Room » A surprise party gone horribly wrong.
• Unacceptable » Aptly named.
• Monkey Business » A haiku for you/Don’t take it seriously/It’s just B.S.
• Sex Ducts » Look...they can’t all be winners.
• The Stages Of A Man’s Life » A manly poem, but I like it, too.
• Forget About It » A poem about...um...gee, I forget.
• Quotable Quotations » Billy has something on his mind besides a hat.

One final item that will soon become a regular feature of this site (and by “regular” I mean, of course, “every eight months”) is the addition of free computer wallpaper. At the moment there is only one offering, but I have high hopes that it will become as popular with you, Imaginary Reader, as it is with my Imaginary Friends. Click on the image below to open up the full-size image. Once it has opened, you can right-click on it and save it to your computer, or set it as your computer’s wallpaper. As always, it is completely free, and worth every penny.

September 11, 2006

Fans of this website are no doubt aware that there are, in fact, no fans of this website. Family members don’t visit it...my mother refuses to even acknowlege it. It’s just sad.

But in the hopes that you’ve stumbled across this website accidentally in pursuit of factual information about William Shakespeare (or more likely in your case, porn), let me direct you and the rest of the A.D.D. gen-Yers instantly to the portions of this site that are (in my mind) most worth investigating.

Today, Sept. 11, 2006, marks the launch of BillyShakespeare.com 2.0, as it were. (Hmm. Something about that date bothers me...can’t quit put my finger on it, though. No matter.) While very little content on the site is new, the entire site has been redesigned. I’ve spent many late nights teaching myself about Cascading Style Sheets, and frankly, it’s getting in the way of my pursuit of porn. I mean: “factual information about William Shakespeare.” While it was slow-going in the beginning, I am now able to code sites entirely with a text editor, and now realize why all those other web designers laughed when I said “I use FrontPage.” And though it means precious little to you, imaginary reader, no tables were harmed in the making of this website.

Below I’ve listed the precious few additions to my growing stack of B.S., but I strongly recommend taking a tour of the “B.S. On My Bookshelf” portion of the site. There you’ll find my most popular work, “The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Having Cybersex With Other Complete Idiots — or — Everything You Alway Wanted To Know About Cybersex But Were Too Busy Typing With One Hand To Ask,” but I also would encourage you to take a look (brief as it may be) at “Letters From Home,” which is a collection of letters I wrote to my sister while I was in high school. I think it demonstrates best that, yes, I was always like this.

Other than that...enjoy! Remember, my B.S. is absolutely free and worth every penny!

• Homosexuality » A poem that is, ironically, pretty gay.
• Letters From Home (pdf format) » A portrait of the artist as a young nerd before blossoming into a more mature nerd.

© 2000-2008 jerryjo : the funniest motherfucker on the planet All rights reserved. Only lefts remain. Prosecutors will be violated. This site is best viewed with a computer. No tables were harmed during the making of this website. CSS {boxy: but good;}

Remember...he may be Shakespeare to you, but it’s just B.S. to me!